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Ace Your Mindset  Newsletter
Easy Study and Life Hacks

Achieve Your Goals with Self Love

2/6/2023

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Valentine's Day Starts with You

During the month of February, many people focus on relationships with others. If you struggle with executive functioning, prioritizing your relationship with yourself can propel you more deeply into the goals you may have set for the new year. 

Like many people, some of your New Year’s dreams may seem to fall away as time passes, if maintaining traction is not your strong suit. You may have a learning difference, or just be like most of us: Life happens, and we get derailed. 

If you like to dream big, but tend to drop the ball when it comes to execution, consider slowing down. You know what they say about too much of a good thing! You might have an even better experience when you don't cram too many "wonderful" activities into your valuable schedule. 

Our culture tends to push us to achieve, sometimes before we even know what to do, or why we are doing it. Without deliberate measures to keep us on track, we can get pulled in every direction. Routine demands of everyday life can pressure us to let some of our longer-term plans fall by the wayside. 

Where is the self-love in this? 

Even during downtime, we can push ourselves. I have at times bitten off more than I needed to chew, such as taking a relatively ambitious 2.5 hour drive to a beautiful coastline. While these day trips were gorgeous and fun, they also required a commitment to an intense commute. By contrast, I've gotten tons of enjoyment from 15 minute jaunts to a stunning local park. I even had time to get a slew of other things done that day!

Tapping into the quieter parts of yourself can yield precious insight. 

Why not schedule less, listen more, and make sure the activities you ARE prioritizing are the things that will make the most difference for you? Self-love is about discernment, and starts with inward reflection. It requires stepping back from external distractions that pull your attention. 

You can focus on signals from the outside world once you are ready, but if you first know what will balance your life, you will make more strategic decisions, and say yes to options that will be both energizing and inspiring. 

​​A recent Forbes article on 6 Ways to Practice Self-Love describes a number of options for cultivating better relationships with ourselves. It also lists 5 benefits of doing so, including happiness, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-forgiveness. 

What do these 5 benefits of practicing self-love have to do with staying on track with goals?
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  • Happiness - While delayed gratification can be challenging for neurodiverse learners, seeing your progress can bring a lot of satisfaction. Our brains like little accomplishments. You can make the process of getting things done as pleasant as possible by rewarding incremental steps and small achievements. 
 
  • Self-Acceptance - Make academics relevant to you by exploring what captures your imagination. You are wired the way you are wired, and you find certain topics more interesting than others for a reason. You are designed to be a specialist in areas other people may never know much about. This is something to celebrate! Owning your brand of brilliance will boost your confidence. Get to know your secret sauce. Learn how to make this work for your teenage career exploration, as well as high school, college and postgraduate studies. If you want college to be a part of your education, highlighting your unique gifts will differentiate your candidacy from that of other applicants. 
 
  • Self-Esteem - Getting things done makes everyone feel better better about themselves. To make real progress toward your vision, you have to learn how to become consistent. Even if you struggle with organization, time management, and accountability, getting support can help you stick to your goals.
 
  • Self-Awareness - Which pursuits could brighten your day and make you feel more alive? Learning what motivates you can be one of your greatest strengths. Take the time to slow down and explore your passions, because you can transform them into academic “superpowers.” Go off the beaten path, and do something just for you. If you are unsure of how to pursue an independent interest, a skilled mentor can help. 
 
  • Self-Forgiveness - If you have ADD, ADHD, or a learning difference that can derail your attention, let go of self-judgment each time you fall off track. Recognize that everyone has imperfections, and focus on the progress you ARE making. They key is to get back on the horse as soon as you can so you can enjoy greater momentum. Resilience is your friend. 

You may have a vague sense of your academic and professional aspirations, but have a hard time visualizing the roadmap of how to get there, and the specific guardrails that can guide your success. 

Start goal setting by tapping into who you really are, what you care about, and what drives you. You can create greater traction by slowing down, listening to your inner purpose, and connecting your planning to your deepest needs. You may get your best ideas in the shower, when you are half asleep, or when you are in the middle of a routine task. Capture that inspiration by recognizing when it resonates for you. Write it down, keep it in a note on a device, or say it out loud to yourself. These are your “aha!” moments.   

Greater clarity can yield the insight that leads to next steps. It is the fuel that can propel you in a direction that feels like the right thing for you. This inner awareness can keep you motivated on that path.

Whether you prefer mind mapping, vision boards, journaling, or some other tool of inner exploration, the intention is to make a dedicated practice of uncovering more about yourself and your priorities. 

Commit to making your life goals a reality by spending more time with your authentic self. Once you identify what you value, and what you feel motivated to achieve, you are then in a position to map out the steps that will support your vision. If you have a hard time organizing a game plan for large projects, you can enlist a mentor or coach to guide you in its execution. 

Looking for support in living your authentic life and moving forward on your goals? Schedule a complimentary information session. 
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​As an executive function coach and academic tutor, I specialize in helping individuals with learning differences exceed their goals for academics, organization, and college transition.
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Setting Goals and Resolutions? Try This Instead

1/2/2023

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Change Your Habits and Create Your Best Year Yet

Happy New Year!

If you are like most people, you are probably thinking about goals and resolutions. As the months progress, people who struggle with executive functioning may find themselves scratching their heads while their peers are busy checking off academic and professional bucket list items.
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Focusing on goals and resolutions without effective habits to achieve them may lead to finding yourself in February wondering where your momentum went. 


This Washington Post article on building habits comes with a number of familiar, yet powerful strategies:

1. Set goals
2. Identify your motivation
3. Let go of perfectionism and just get things done
4. Reward positive actions
5. Be patient
6. Be kind to yourself

Why do these steps work? 

They address the fact that setting goals is no guarantee of achieving them. For individuals with learning differences, life passages are mired in vagueness, a lack of clarity that reduces learners' motivation, consistency, and resilience.

Progress is not a steady line for neurodiverse individuals. We stop and start, have good days and bad, and may experience entire weeks where forward movement appears invisible. At times like these, we seem to lack traction. We may even question whether we have set the right goals in the first place. 


People who struggle with executive functioning experience the world through a lens of vagueness. For progress to be achievable, we must find ways to concretize the steps that help us get where we need to go. 

The secret sauce isn't setting better goals, but developing better habits to achieve them. Steady on! If you fall off track, get back on as soon as you can. And let go of judgement - it's dead weight.

While you may not be especially interested in developing a new exercise routine or dieting regimen in the new year, baby steps and traction are also indispensable when executing tasks related to academic, professional, or personal goals.


Looking for support in creating your best year yet? Schedule a complimentary information session. 

​As an executive function coach and academic tutor, I specialize in helping individuals with learning differences exceed their goals for academics, organization, and college transition.
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2 Ways to Help Struggling Learners Develop Resilience

8/24/2022

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Struggling learners can strengthen resilience by making progress visible and getting support.

Making Stick-to-it-iveness Concrete

The demands of academia are not always presented in tangible form. Students are often asked to derive a detailed set of expectations from abstract descriptions, general statements, and assumptions that are not made explicit. They are expected to define, chart, and manage their own progress.

This is a struggling student’s nightmare. 

Individuals with learning differences experience the world through a lens of vagueness. When the context and scope of an assignment or project is blurry, progress is difficult for learners to conceptualize. 

Click here to read more about how vagueness presents significant barriers to struggling students’ academic achievement. 

To move forward toward academic goals, neurodiverse students need to conceptualize the world in terms that are concrete to them. They need physical validation of their progress when they are moving in the right direction, as well as tools for course correction when they drift off track. 

Unfortunately, learning environments rarely provide feedback on a student’s academic journey until grades come out. It is assumed that they will create their own tracking and accountability systems. When students struggle with executive functioning challenges, they have no idea how to create organizing systems that will work for them. 

Operating from a vague understanding of what is expected of them, learners proceed through course requirements to the best of their ability, and attempt to extinguish the resulting academic fires as they ignite. Trying to manage an ongoing barrage of seemingly unattainable tasks is exhausting for struggling learners, and they can quickly burn out.

Resilience is a trait - the ability to bounce back from or adjust easily to misfortune, disappointment, frustration, or change. By contrast, perseverance is an action - getting back on the horse repeatedly. For neurodiverse students to benefit from coaching, they need to internalize qualities of resilience by learning how to get things done successfully. To accomplish this, they must make beneficial study habits ingrained by staying aware of their progress and receiving necessary scaffolding to persevere and stay on track. 

The right academic coach can model both how students can make their progress tangible and how they can recover after a setback. 

Two Ways to Help Students Become More Resilient: Concretize Progress and Concretize Support

  • Making progress tangible through physical representation helps neurodivergent learners appreciate how successfully their endeavors are moving them toward their goals. 
  • When a student is mentored in resuming their efforts when things don’t go as planned, they can learn how to recover each time they encounter a setback.

1. Concretize Progress

Struggling students can develop resilience by making beneficial actions and results tangible in several ways:

  • Make Academic Progress Sensory
  • Celebrate Academic Progress
  • Broadcast Academic Progress

Make Progress Sensory: Put a Pin on It

Students with learning differences have a hard time delaying gratification and can become easily discouraged by a mounting cascade of academic disappointments. They do not receive the same reinforcing brain chemistry rewards as neurotypical learners. In particular, their labors do not automatically produce the pleasurable dopamine boost that affects how their brains decide whether a goal is worth the effort. 

Seeing no immediate result from all their hard work, they often give up in the middle of a task. In the moment, their efforts just don’t seem to matter that much.

​Individuals with higher levels of brain dopamine are more likely to focus on the benefits of mental exertion, whereas those with lower levels instead emphasize the difficulty of a task, and its perceived cost. 
​

Click here for author Erin Bryant’s excellent article on this topic in NIH Research Matters:
“Dopamine affects how brain decides whether a goal is worth the effort” 
​

Struggling learners can overcome this biochemical lottery mishap by externalizing small achievements with physical representations of each success. 

Make it Feel Ultra Satisfying to Get Something Done

Without dopamine readily on tap, neurodivergent learners need to artificially simulate gratification. Making even minor accomplishments concrete can be a satisfying way to personalize routine academic tasks and make them more enjoyable. 

Some ways to make success physical, visible, kinesthetic: 
  • Drawing checkmarks on a list
  • Crossing out items on a list
  • Erasing to-dos off a chalkboard
  • Affiixing colorful pushpins to a corkboard 
  • Placing colored magnets onto completed tasks on a magnetic board
  • Creating a tracking method of your child’s own design 

Your child may find some options more kinesthetically or visually pleasurable than others. Whichever system your child chooses to make evidence of their academic progress tangible, it should be something they find rewarding. 

Celebrate Progress: Savor the Rewards

Students with learning differences often internalize negative messages that they are just not cut out for academics. It can be validating for them to receive an external indication that they did something well - something other people would be proud of. 

Too often, neurodivergent learners scramble to just get their assignments in. Often, work is handed in after the deadline, and does not come near to representing what they are capable of achieving. 

Short on the heels of the adrenaline rush may be a cloud of disappointment and self-judgment. This mental rollercoaster takes a toll on a learner’s self-confidence. Multiply this scenario by several dozen last-minute submissions over the course of semester, and the adverse impact on their self-esteem intensifies. 

Even where the student experiences relief, they may also feel a mixture of shame and embarrassment, especially if they are aware of having made all the adults worried and stressed. They may have moments of comparing themselves negatively to peers who are held up as “model” students. 

They may have worked hard, but it may be difficult for such a student to relish unadulterated pride in their accomplishments. 

Celebrating large achievements, such as completion of an exam or a significant project, can help students reinforce a more successful academic scenario. Here are some examples:

  • Receiving recognition from family and mentors
  • Enjoying an evening at a favorite restaurant with friends 
  • Exploring something of interest in nature
  • Visiting an amusement park, movie theater, youth art center, or children’s museum
  • Choosing a long desired-gift

Planning something to look forward to can serve as a catalyst for students to maintain forward progress. Periodic reminders of this vision throughout the execution period can bolster waning momentum. 

Broadcast Progress: Give Yourself a Shoutout 

Whether your student identifies as an introvert or extrovert, social accountability can reinforce academic habits that will be beneficial to them: 

  • Family and community members can celebrate a student’s achievements online. 
  • Students can be guided to surround themselves with supportive peers and mentors who appreciate and validate their academic successes. 
  • They can become accustomed to sharing their accomplishments with people who are likely to cheer them on. 

Getting social validation and support can help struggling students integrate the fruits of their hard work. 

2. Concretize Support

Being resilient demands a lot of human character. If your student would have a hard time implementing any of the strategies described above, the good news is that they don’t have to. The skill of perseverance can be exercised and strengthened through academic support. 

Neurodiverse learners can successfully develop greater resilience when they receive help getting back on the horse each time they fall off. Your child’s coach can help them develop the muscle to stay the course. For example, they can:

  • Praise ongoing academic efforts, even when your student cannot see immediate progress. 
  • Encourage your child to request help, take a second stab at a challenging assignment, and continuously improve the quality of their work. 
  • Point out alternatives to solving a problem, and guide your child in testing out different ones until they come upon a solution. 
  • Help your student view an academic setback as a temporary blip, and encourage them to stay focused on their goals. 
  • Steer a struggling learner toward an academic come-back. Yes - given appropriate support, it really is possible to bounce back!

Concretizing progress and support reinforces the completion of baby steps that lead to gratification and pride. This is a great self-esteem builder for struggling learners! An academic coach can model for the student resilience-building practices that will benefit the student for years to come. 

To learn more about how academic coaching can help your student develop greater academic resilience, book a free consultation now.

As an executive functioning coach and academic tutor, I specialize in helping individuals with learning differences exceed their goals for academics, organization, independence, and career direction.
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    Blog Topics

    2 Ways Struggling Students Can Make Motivation More Concrete

    2 Ways to Help Struggling Learners Develop Resilience

    5 Ways to Keep on Track

    Achieve Your Goals with Self Love

    Are You the Missing Link in Helping Your Student Achieve Academic Success?

    ​
    Body Doubling: How to Give the Gift of Presence to Your Struggling Learner

    ChatGPT Do's and Don'ts for Students, Coaches and Educators

    Don't Let Neurodivergence Derail Your Semester

    Final Exam Study Mistakes Your Child Will Probably Make

    Five Ways to Ace Your Summer

    ​Growth Mindset, Neurodivergence and New Year Goal Setting

    Guiding Your Student to Use ChatGPT to Aid Critical Thinking

    The Key to Fostering Repeatable Academic Success

    Secret Sauce to Improve a Struggling Student's Confidence

    Setting Goals and Resolutions? Try This Instead

    Spring Ahead? Do This Instead

    Stressed About Final Exams?

    Summer Traction for College Essays and Study Skills

    Use ChatGPT to Enhance, Not Replace Your Student's Skills

    Vagueness: Hidden Barriers to Success for Neurodiverse Students

    When Academic Support Isn't Enough for Neurodiverse Students

    Why Smart People Get Stuck: Executive Function Challenges, ADHD, and the Myth of Laziness

    Will Your Student Lose Their Best Chance to Address Their Learning Gaps?
    Eve Chosak helps struggling learners exceed their expectations for academic, professional, and personal success.

    Who Am I?
    Why Do I Care?

    I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. As a young person, I could have used someone like me to get help navigating academics and life transitions. While I didn't have the benefit of a coach who understood learning differences, this blog allows me to ideally put my hard won insights to good use helping others.
    - Eve Chosak, MFA

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